I love the beginning of a new year. It’s as if once a year we give ourselves permission to start with a clean slate. It’s our opportunity to shed the layers of last year. Just like a snake does when it’s outgrown its skin. Leaving behind all the things that weigh and constrict us from moving forward with greater ease. The trick is, to let it go, and not drag those layers along with us. I started thinking the day after Christmas about all the changes and resolutions I was going to make for the coming new year. As my list grew, I came across a quote from Rumi that put it all into perspective for me.
“There is one thing in the world that we must never forget to do. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about, but if you remember everything else and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life… That work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person.”
Hum! Purpose! What is my purpose? And at what point in my life am I going to put that purpose into effect? As soon as I start asking these kinds of question the guidance comes in one form or another. I realize that it doesn’t matter how many times I wonder if I don’t open myself to the answer completely. I then think back over my life. What have learned? What do I do the best? What do I do that gives me the most joy? Where do the compliments come from? What things do people thank me for?
As I contemplate the questions and really take the time to consider them. I thought my purpose was simply to be the person God created me to be. But then I realized that wasn’t my purpose. That’s what my meaning in life is, to discover who I am in relation to my creator. Within that meaning lies the key to my purpose. Like the song goes, looking for love in all the wrong places, we go through a lifetime searching for our meaning and purpose everywhere else… except inside ourselves. What we come to discover deep down inside is that we’ve always known who we are, and what we have to offer the world. We just can’t see it until we get out of our own way long enough to touch the depth of our soul where we see a mirror reflection of ourselves through the eyes of God.
So, my new year’s resolution and intent are to practice living a more purposeful driven life. Asking myself along this 2019 journey how does my purpose fit into the changes I want to make in my life. If I find myself putting more effort into the project then the purpose, I can always gage it by how off balance I’ll feel. The beauty of new beginnings is that we don’t have to wait for a new year to start all over again. They begin the moment we put them into effect.
May your New Year be blessed with all your hearts desires as well as peace and love.
This morning as I tuned into the Today show Al Roker made the most torturous looking face when reminded that today is the beginning of the 2020 presidential election. I turned it off feeling the same unpleasant feelings that Al’s face portrayed.
Sitting in the quiet with my cup of coffee felt as blinding as the sunlight did after all this ran.
It felt like a much needed rude awakening, and I went into prayer:
”Hi God! It’s me! Do you remember me? Cause I was kind of hoping you could remind me who I am and what I’m here for.”
”Hi Connie! It’s God! Can you hear me cause I’ve been trying to get your attention but you’ve been kind of preoccupied lately.
-I’ve been trying to tell you to untether yourself from fear.
-To speak your truth, than let it go.
-That there is always hope as long as you’re living.
-To respect the uniqueness of each individual because as different as I created you each to be there is purpose in what each soul has to offer.
-Be mindful of what you think, say, do and eat.
-Remember the gifts I give you are the same I give everyone else freedom, choice and above all else love.
-Who you are is an expression of that from which you were created.
-Your soul’s purpose is to experience life right where you are and to be a living expression of that truth from which you come.
-Finally stop making things harder than they actually are, let go and let yourself…be.”
“From a little spark may burst a mighty flame.” -David Alighieri
Our thoughts come as quick as the strike of a match, and without paying much attention the thought it ignites…can warm our house or burn it down.
When we strike the match of fear, mindfulness gives us the opportunity to blow it out before that fear turns into a might flame of anxiety and stress.
That little spark of fear has been ignited under our country and it’s burst into a might flame. It’s burning away our hope and we’re feeding the flame with our own logs of fear.
Some of us keep throwing our buckets of hope on the fire trying to put the flame of fear out. It’s as exhausting as the firefighter who works hard to put a forest fires out. When it gets that out of control you have to fight fire with fire to keep it form going any further, meeting somewhere in the middle.
Right now voting is the only way we have to fight this flame of fear burning. If you don’t want to vote because you think it doesn’t matter than you’re ignoring the very fire that will eventually affect you. If you don’t know who to vote for simple go inside yourself deep down into your soul and ask for guidance. Which vote will contribute to the fire of fear and which one will help us to find a place closer to the middle where it can begin to burn out.
I was walking along my path of life on this cold autumn morning. The sun shinning brightly down on me warmed my cold bones. Deep in thought I looked up and stopped in my tracts to marvel at the intricate woven lace of a spider web sparkling in the sunlight. Each thread interwoven just as we weave our own life. It reminds me of something I once read about the golden thread of Divinity that runs through each of us connecting one to the other. Like the spider who creates a beautiful lacy web, we can spin and weave a beautiful tapestry of our own life with the golden thread that exist within each of us. Like the spider who doesn’t have to think about how to do it, neither do we, it will simple become what we put into it.
”And the day came when risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin
We are like a rose bush full of many buds each one having a new lesson to teach us. Sometimes the lesson within one bud is more comfortable to open up to than the bigger harder lessons that come along. Letting go requires the trust for something better. Resisting only causes pain, suffering and discontent. Sometimes that pain becomes so overwhelming that the only thing left to do is let go and use it to grow into something better. It’s all about choice. Do I want to be a bud that never grows or a Rose in full bloom?
Today, I wonder why I feel so down. What is troubling me? Why do I feel as if I’m walking through a maze of undirected thoughts? As if I don’t know how to think anymore or what to trust. How can so many people be right, and so many wrong? I can’t seem to make sense of anything anymore. Then something I wrote a few years ago pops up to remind me how powerful our thoughts are.
“One thought of discord whether it be between people, things or ideas can be like a tiny spark in the woods creating a forest fire. One thought, that’s all it takes!
On the other hand, one thought of joy can have the same effect only it doesn’t destroy. It nurtures like rain quenching our thirst for something better. One thought that’s all it takes!”
Where do our thoughts come from?
The things we lay our eyes on. I can choose to see the beautiful roses in bloom or the weeds that grow around it.
I can turn the news on because I think I must always be informed. Or turn some music on knowing how much it feeds my soul. How good and alive it makes me feel.
I can talk about someone I don’t understand or talk about someone who lifts me up.
It’s all about the thoughts we choose to entertain and how we feed into them. Like the cowboy with his rope, we have to round our thoughts up. Grab hold of the ones that are out of control and take them out to pasture. Keep the ones that honor who we are, the ones that are life-giving and leave the rest behind.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. It’s funny how talking or writing it out helps us to see things much clearer.
My soul reminds me today that there is a power within me that is greater than anything that life brings my way. It is the place of being where I stand with the lemons of life in my hands…and choice enters in. I can choose the limited sour bitterness it creates. Or let the sweetness of the spirit within teach me how to turn lemons into lemon aid.
I’m not one to voice my opinion much about the things that go on in our country. I don’t like getting into political confrontations with people because everybody’s right and nobodies wrong, and nothing seems to change for the better. I am neither republican, democrat or independent. I vote as a non-partisan, but I don’t like being labeled. So, let’s just say I’m me. I try take everything I understand into consideration. Then I pray about it, because if decide anything without a God conscious mind all that I know to be good and right goes out the window. The things that we know to be true and right exist within every one of us. It doesn’t take rocket science to tap into it. All we have to do is get out of our own way. Push our pride aside and do what’s right. Do something because our children and grandchildren are dying because nothing is changing.
I didn’t always agree with what my Dad believed, but the one thing I admired about him was that he voiced his opinion to his representatives. He wrote letters about what he thought was right or wrong because he believed what he had to say was important enough to be heard. He was so passionate about it that he wrote with carbon paper so he’d have a copy of what he wrote to follow-up with. Today it couldn’t be any easier for us. All we have to do is look up our representatives on the internet and write a few lines to voice our own opinion. As a matter of fact, they prefer that to a letter. We need to do something, and we need to do it now. So, I encourage everyone reading this to take a few moments to consider what you think the right solution is to all these school shootings. Then write your representatives and voicings your opinion because that’s what they’re there for…to represent us. If they’re not, then let them know they won’t get your vote in the next election. Let’s take back the power that we’ve been investing in them.
Okay! I said enough. I’m getting a glass a wine. Than I’m sitting down to put my own words into action…I’m write my representatives now. I hope you will join me.
Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” -Pema Chodron
I love painting pictures with my words. It starts when I’m trying to figure something out. I visualize what I’m thinking in an animated or metaphoric way that helps me make sense of it. So, what is my carpet bag of baggage?
It’s a rug big enough to fit all the stuff I’ve collect along the various journeys of my-life. It’s an ugly carpet, full of untruths, most of them having to do with my self-esteem. It’s all tied together with the black rope of fear. I’m so used to carrying it around that I don’t even feel how much it’s weighing me down most of the time. It’s in those moments when I’m paying attention to life that it falls off my shoulder. It’s a wonderful feeling as if I’ve sucked in some helium and I’m floating right above the ground. And I wonder why it can’t be like this all the time.
When the black rope of fear sees me happy it starts to untie itself around the carpet. Moving like a snake. Fear knows I’m afraid of snakes. It’s the way it gets my attention. As the carpet bag begins to slowly open all the dreadful demeaning voices jump around shouting me, me, me pick me. All it takes is for me to believe one demeaning thought of worthiness, and I’ll find myself standing upon the rug that fear uses, to pull the joy right out from under me.
But I’m seeing a little clearer now. They say, you have to see what needs changed, before you can change it. As the quote says about, “nothing goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” I’m learning one thing for sure, that as big as fear looks, what lies on the other side of it is majestic.
I don’t think I can count how many times I’ve been given a wakeup call. They come in one way or another like a health issue that pops up putting a scare in your life. An accident where you realize you’re lucky to still be alive. The loss of a pet, friend or loved one. These are all life altering scenarios that call for a change in our life.
So, the question becomes, “If not now, when?”
For as Mark Nepo says in his reading today, “There is no tomorrow, only a string of todays.”