If Hope were a person
She’d be my best friend.
She’s been there for me,
through thick and thin.
She’s my shadow cast
from her beacon of lite.
Pointing the way
Toward the good and right.
We’ve been on a lot
of bumpy roads,
And some of the worst
were paved in hot coals.
I felt abandon,
Standing all alone.
Not even a shadow
to call my own.
It was in the silence
Hope’s voice became mine,
I knew in that moment
we’d become intertwined.
Hope doesn’t have to be a person
To be my best friend,
We’re already inseparable
To the very end.
I am sitting out on my deck enjoying this beautiful summer morning. Breathing in the fresh air I think to myself that I want only to see the good this day has to offer. It’s one thing to imagine how we want things to be, but I find myself easily distracted by life’s events, things to do, and needs that must be met.
“Come on Connie, focus,” my inner voice says to me.
I look up at my beautiful hanging plants and my mind begins to wonder off again.
“Focus Connie,” the voice says again. “What do you see?”
I’m looking at an open socket with a plug lying right beneath it.
“And what happens when you put the plug in the socket?” The voice continues.
“It turns my fountain on.
“How does it do that?”
By connecting to its power source.
“And then what happens?”
The water begins to flow.
“Look, even Lucy’s thirst is quenched by the flowing waters created from the energy source you plugged into.”
Wow! There was the answer staring me in the face all along. The distractions of life tend to splinter us into pieces, but by plugging ourselves back into our source of life we become whole again. It is in this place of wholeness that life flows easily, and our thirst for clarity is quenched just as easily as it was for Lucy who drank from the flowing waters put before her.
Everyday is a new adventure full of fun and challenging things to learn. Here I am learning that sometimes the things we want the most can roll beyond our reach. That no matter how hard we try there are some things in life that can’t be done without a little help from our friends. It’s even better when we’re having fun working together. On the other hand I also learned that if I kept pushing my ball under the couch with my nose I could get my Tom to keep playing this fun game with me. But then the next lesson came when I pushed it one too many times. Then it was no longer a matter of not being able to reach it, but then having my ball taking away from me for a time out. That’s when I look at my Tom with my sad eyes that say, “ah…you’re no fun! Dog gone it!”
Everyone has an opinion of what being in the later years of our life should be. That’s perfectly okay and normal because we each see and experience things from our own perspective. What goes into our perspective is a whirlwind of emotional, physical, psychological, social and spiritual experiences, and let’s not forget the learned behavior we’ve brought with us. The bottom-line is that we don’t know any more about this last stage of life then we did the other stages we went through. However, after many past stages of life I’ve learned that by embracing each one along the way I’ve been able to experience life from a different more deeper perspective than the one before. As I attempt to embrace the senior years of my life, I find myself looking back a lot. Not so much in a longing of wanting to go back, but more of how far I’ve come. These are the years that give birth to all the wisdom I now hold within, and as I discover this, there is a sense of satisfaction in how far I’ve come, what I’ve learned, the places I’ve been and the things I’ve seen. As long as I have a clear enough mind I’ll always feel like I can do most things. It is in the trying that I learn my limitations. It is true that growing older is not for wimps. A lot of time and energy is used to get ourselves moving and being a part of life. I’m learning to embrace the limitations as they present themselves, and I work hard at not giving into the gravity that pulls me back into the sitting position where my body would be perfectly happy to park itself.
So, if I talk about being older at times, it’s because I am. If I talk about running out of time, don’t chastise me. Just bring me back to where I am right now. If you think I’m obsessing over it, don’t tell me how to think, but help me to embrace it. And if I can’t hear or understand you, don’t brush me off and say never mind. Give me a chance to hear what you have to say.
In closing I share my opinion of the later years of my life. I am a senior and that’s okay. I am getting older, but I’m not old in the sense of giving up. I’m not afraid to be where I am or say where I’m at in this stage of my life. I’m a senior and that’s okay with me.