Between my Connie’s recovery and my inability to jump up anymore it’s been a week of difficult communication for me. She’s not suppose to bend over, or pick anything up. So when Toms not around I’m out of luck, although she has cheated a few times and picked me up anyway. She loves me! To top it off I can’t seem to see in the dark at all. It’s a terrible feeling of being lost. Thank goodness I still have my sniffer intake, I let my nose lead the way. I follow my Connie everywhere now I’m at her heels all the time. I don’t remember what’s wrong with me until I’m in need of what no longer works for me. Plus I’m more concerned with why my Connie doesn’t seem well. Sometimes I sit with my front paws on her legs looking deep into her eyes. She looks at me wondering the same thing only she can say it in words, “are you alright Ollie?” I try to penetrate her mind reading her facial expressions but even that looks a little blurred in the daylight. My sniffer comes through for me in this area too. It tells me things I can’t tell her. The same way she wonders what’s going on with me. I wish her sniffer worked as well as mine does. But there is always something good to be found in the dog-go-things of life, and for me it’s being able to spend so much quality time with her. She rest and sleeps a lot like I do lately, and I get a warm cuddle feeling as I snuggle up against her. Life really is much better when you look for the good things. I really am a lucky dog!
This is a good question to ask ourselves at this time of re-election in our country. It seems that the only real control we have is in who we decide to vote for. For me personally the candidates have nothing to offer that reflects any of my values. It makes you feel like you have no sense of control in how you would like to change the world for the better. So in order to see my own worth in all this I have to bring it down to level in which I can make a difference. The world is an awful big picture to take on. However, the only real world we live in is the one within ourselves. Now that’s something we can do something about. Does it really make a difference how I live in my own world? Of course it does because it affects everything around me. In my own inner world, it all starts with me, because after all I’m the only one I can do anything about. I affect others as others affect me, it’s true. However, the bottom line is, how I let others affect me is up to me. The change I wish that I could make is simple in being the change myself, living, expressing, inspiring through my own example. The answer is all encompassing in this thing we call love, and love is much bigger then the world. So I guess for me the change would come from learning to love more every day right where I am. If I can become an expression of that love how can I possible, go wrong? It is true what the world needs now is love sweet love. One of my favorite songs of my youth. I wish it had the sincerity it was intended for when sung at the democratic convention, and how sad but true in a cartoon today it was Trump singing the song, “what the world needs now is Trump Sweet Trump.” The world needs the best of all of us. Think what the world would be like if we all joined in the effort to change ourselves in a way that better serves the world for the greater good of all.
“My 7-Day Challenge”
Ok, so this morning I woke up thinking about what a good night’s sleep I had. I grab the opportunity to say how grateful I am to have been given another day to live. My gratitude moves off into a list of things that come to mind. My day is started on a good grounding. I want to stay in this frame of mind, but I know that it takes work and practice to shut out all the things that begin to creep into my everyday life. How easy it is to lose sight of the joyful things we want to hang onto.
Something that I recently read came to mind. It was a challenge that was planted like a seed and I could hear it calling out to be watered. The challenge was to not complain for 7 days. Hum! This could be a good practice in seeing how much I actual do that. But I start thinking that maybe this isn’t a good week to do it. I’m still recovering and I have a lot coming up this week, maybe I should wait until the conditions are better. I realized that it sounded like the same thing I do when I think about going on a diet. Ha-ha! I’m laughing at myself as I realize the game I play to avoid the things that are good for me.
So I sit down with Tom for a chat. At some point I find myself complaining about this that and anything else I can think of. It feels like I’m getting it all out before I venture onto this challenge, and when I realize what I’m doing I’m ashamed to see the ugliness it brings out in me. This is certainly not the reflection I want to cast of myself. It doesn’t even feel like the real me.
Now some would say, “ah Connie, you’re only human.” I might say the same thing to someone else to make them feel better. But isn’t that actually settling for less than we really are capable of being as humans?
So I’m accepting the challenge as of today Friday September 16, 2016. I’ll let you know how I make out. Maybe you might want to join me in the challenge for yourself. Wow! Think of what the world would be like if we all stopped complaining for even one day.
Today my inspiration comes in the form of a frog. I mean this literally. I have always had a fascination with frogs since I was a kid. I remember watching them for weeks as the only existence they knew was being a tadpole living in the water. Then legs and arms begin to pop out of their body, they lose their tail and the transformation is complete. I just realized they’re the real deal when it comes to transformers like the ones my grandkids play with. Anyway the frog is born and emerges into an entirely new reality. It was the transformation that kept me captivated. How could one thing turn into something so different yet be the same thing? I never knew that frogs were known as the symbol for transformation until I read about it today. Every one of Gods creations has a significance in this world as well as something powerful to teach us. Some would call this transformation of rebirth the change that takes place when we accepting God into our lives. Some would say it takes place when we realize who we really are. Others would say it takes place when we realize our purpose. I would say they are all the same just as the tadpole and the frog are the same. What they are made of on the inside remains the same. While they may seem like a simple insignificant creature to us, they teach us about our own transformation and how we allow ourselves to adapt to whatever limitations we place upon ourselves. As a child looking in wonder at how a tadpole could turn into a frog. I realize now that they were never separate in the first place working as one unified creation fulfilling its purpose on earth controlling the bug population, and teaching us an important lesson about our own transformation simple by being what they were created to be.
I was reminded of the years that have passed us by.
The things she taught me that I could never deny.
How could I forget the herbs and spices of life.
How to grow them and use them for their treasured delight.
These are the things that she taught me to do.
To simple wear earrings if nothing else.
And how to make strawberry jam to put on the shelf.
How to share the good times as well as the bad.
To be who you are even when you’re feeling sad.
Our friendship has weathered the many years gone by.
As we tasted the herbs and spices of life.
And who could forget the shared glasses of wine
For these are the things that get better with time,
and I’m grateful to call you a friend of mine.
I’m learning how the things I think, read, entertain and focus on have a lot to do with basically everything in my life. My mind is like a magnet and whatever I think about I draw to myself, whether it be a positive or negative outcome. A great example for myself is when I get caught up in the politic retoric going on. Once I entertain the thoughts the magnet starts to pull forth all the negativity that’s swirling around in it. I begin to feel the grab of its pull, and once it’s attached itself to me I want to know more even though deep down inside I know I don’t want to feel the way it makes me feel. I’m searching for something good where no good can be found. So I have to turn it off, stop reading about it, stop talking about it and change my thinking about it. Then and only then can I begin to attract something better by focusing on the things I can do for the greater good of myself because then I become a reflection for the greater good of all.
Sleeping under the stars
“We’ve never experienced this very moment before, and the next moment will not be the same as the one we are in now.” -Pena Chodron
I’ve been sleeping propped up on the couch for the past few nights since my surgery. Our couch sits up against the big bay window in our living room. As I can only lay on my back to sleep right now it gets a little uncomfortable through the night. At some point I opened my eyes to get resituated, but I couldn’t move because of what I saw. It was as if I was sleeping outside under the stars. The sky was clear, the moon was almost full, and the stars were shining extra bright, at least they looked that way to me. I would have never been able to see this view from inside my house if I hadn’t been laying at the angle I was. It’s funny how one little open door of awareness can open us up to all the things around us we have blocked out. Suddenly I was aware of the cool fresh air coming in the corner windows, and the sounds of the summer night as if in full concert mode. Between the sight, sound and fresh clean air I felt like I’d been given a glimpse of heaven. It was a captured moment in time in which all else was forgotten. There was no pain or discomfort and after a while I fell back to sleep forgetting why I woke up in the first place. Every mindful moment like this seems to build on top of the other for me. Through this whole ordeal I’ve been able to find a way to see something better than my condition, and it’s had an amazing effect on my healing so far. I don’t question anymore where it come from. I know it comes from the grace of God, and all it takes is a moment of awareness to tap into.
Its 5:30 am, and I have to get this dream down before I forget it, although I don’t know how anyone could forget this one.
I was praying to God with my eyes closed and when I was done I opened them and there sat Donald Trump.
“Hey! Where’s God?” I asked.
“I fired him,” Trump said.
“Because He and His archangels have turned this world to rubble, and I alone am the only one who can fix it, I alone! Listen to me it’s true honest to God. It will be a whole new system when I’m president. Not only will I be in charge of the America, but I’ve decided I want to rule the whole world, and the universe, and I alone am the only one who can do it. I alone! There will be all new generals and archangels, and a new congress too.
By the way when you wake from your operation don’t be surprised when they hand you a mirror, and you notice your face is orange and your hair looks like mine. When I am elected everyone will be required to do the same so that when they look in the mirror and at each other they will see me and me alone me, me, me, me,” his voice carried on getting louder until it woke me up.
Tom laughs at me, “no more cheese cake for you before bed,” he says
Today is International Literacy Day. I never even knew it existed. It’s goal is to help communities around the globe act as a united voice in raising awareness for those who cannot read or write.
The fact that you’re reading this most likely means you had the opportunity to go to school and learn these skills. But for some, like myself it wasn’t easy. One of the hardest things is when you have an imagination that craves to be expressed, but doesn’t understanding how to use the tools being taught. I couldn’t grasp phonics, so sounding words out or spelling them correctly was always a problem for me. Reading seemed to go through my eyes, and out my ears before my mind had a chance to catch the words. To have such learning disabilities when I grew up was never addressed in my day and age. It wasn’t until I read something I really enjoyed that found how wonderful reading could be.
To have the desire to write my thoughts was a dream I never thought would come true. But the desire to do what seemed impossible wouldn’t leave me alone. So I learned how to teach myself. Reading, journaling and eventually online classes gave me the ability to work at my own pace with one on one help. The hardest part was learning to accept the critiques as positive way to make me a better writer. Than there was the insecurity I had after all those years of feeling stupid. Why would anybody want to read what I had to write? What else could I do but put it out there, and find out. Now I know it has always been what I was meant to do.
So I’m happy to know there is a special day set aside to encourage the wonderful world literacy opens up for us. For in my life it has taught me to paint the pictures of my imagination with the brush strokes of my words.