I’ve been so caught up in the political rhetoric that I fear I’m loosing myself.
Anger, fear, judgement, anxiety, depression, frustration and disappointment are following me everywhere I go. And negativity has made itself comfortable inside me. I’m ashamed of myself for getting so deeply affected by it that I cannot find my peace, joy, and hope. I fear they have packed their bags and left me for good.
I feel like an alcoholic addicted to the toxins that negativity creates. I’m in need of a good cleansing inside and out. But I know deep down inside this is all happening to me for a reason. So I wonder, what could it be?
Maybe it’s meant to show that no matter how hard I try to be a peacemaker, I will always be confronted with something that challenges my beliefs. It’s in and through that challenge that my values are tested. It’s through those test that I’m reminded of what those values really mean to me. It’s through those test that I can see how willing I am to stand for their truths no matter how hard the world tries to persuade me otherwise. It’s through those test that I’m reminded what my own truth is.
So what have I learned? That I do know the difference between right and wrong. That my values come from something greater then myself, and that the true test is in how willing I am to stand for those truths. That when something doesn’t feel right it usually means it isn’t, and that allows me to make the decisions I need to…with a clear conscious.
This is why I love to write it always has a therapeutic affect on me.