Anxiety and Distress
“An important step in spiritual exercise of overcoming distress or anxiety is choosing to trust that you are not alone, and then to move forward with that knowledge.” I’m sorry Fr. Morris, but it is not that easy to do, and as a matter fact, making one think that it should be, only makes our anxiety worse. I have found this to be true in my own life. With all I know and understand with my relationship with God it has been the hardest thing for me when that faith doesn’t follow through. The anxiety becomes like a drug or alcohol that clouds our thinking. For me it is has been ingrained into my psyche from childhood. So when I have bouts with it, I feel like the alcoholic who has fallen of the wagon. It’s a kind of strange addiction I have, and don’t want. It’s triggered by stresses that get out of control turning on old tapes of feelings and fears. I go into this mode of distress because I want to get rid of it, fix it, make it go away, and I ask God, “why aren’t you taking this away from me.” I have to come to the point where I can see that this is not something I can change on my own. When I get to that place of acceptance I see this bed of hot coals I have to walk across, and once I get there I have to face the monster of fear that created the anxiety in the first place. I can’t walk across it without holding Gods hand, and the funny thing is once I get to other side I realize the bed of coal never really existed, and the monster of fear was not as scary as I’d created it to be. In my own conclusion I’ve learned that I have to get out of the way and accept that neither I, nor God alone can change this, it’s a joint effort. It is only than that we can apply the important step that Fr. Morris states above.