I’m working on practicing what I preach. When you don’t feel good it’s difficult to get beyond it, and think of anything else. I find myself saying you’re a mess Connie, and the next thing I know something else goes wrong with me or I’m just not getting better. I start looking up things on google adding to the messy thoughts of my condition. It’s like feeding the monster that won’t go away. Not only am I saying I am a mess, others are saying it as well to me. Why would the monster even think of leaving when it’s being feed so well?
The first step is recognizing what you’re thinking and saying to yourself, then simple stop saying it. I am not a mess. I am Connie. Then I start to list of all the things I’m grateful for. It’s not easy when you don’t feel well, so I start with the obvious. I am glad I woke-up and have another day in my life to live. I am glad that Tom is still with me. I am glad that Ollie is snuggled up beside me. I am glad my kids and their family’s are healthy. I am glad for this opportunity to make the best of my condition. Now is there anything more I can do to make myself better? Of course there is, and it starts by remembering how blessed I am above all else.
”Many people look upon change with dread and foreboding.
But for those on the spiritual path—for those who believe in God
and the power of prayer—change is a fuller expression of life.
When a problem or condition arises in your life that indicates a change,
rely upon God, and realize that it is not so much that a door has closed
on a chapter of your life, but rather that a door has opened
on new and more interesting things.”-Emmet Fox
I’ve learned through many experiences in life that when it comes to change I’ve had to learn how to let go. Letting go gets me and my ego out of the way. You see in prayer we ask, but what good does it do to ask if we’re not open to hear His answer.
It’s difficult not to be hurt by what others do that feels like a personal attack to us. Realizing that the bottom line is that no-one can hurt us if we don’t let them is easier said than done, but it’s true nonetheless. What we need to do is vent maybe talking with someone you trust, working out or going in the bathroom where you can scream really loud. Than we are in a better place to really look at what it means. Sometimes it isn’t even what we thought it was. Sometimes it doesn’t even have anything to do with us, sometimes it’s more about the person who hurt you than you. Sometimes it allows us to see what we need to change inside ourselves.
We can’t do anything constructive with a negative thought, it’s a waste of our precious time, and think of how many times we’ve hung onto such hurtful feelings. At some point when we realize we have giving these hurts all the thought we are willing to give it, then it is time to not only forgive that person, but ourselves as well for allowing it to hurt us in the first place.
Last night we watched the movie “The Letters,” the story of Mother Teresa. She reminds me so much of St. Francis of Assis. I love them both for the simplicity of their faith, yet how true to God they were in their calling. They were both rebels in a way listening to the voice of God above all else.
The letters tell how lonely and abandon she felt at times by God. I wonder how someone, as holy as Mother Teresa devoting her life and work to God, could feel so alone in what she was doing. In a way it makes me sad. However, I understand too because I have felt the same way at different points in my own faith walk.
She had so many people around her who admired her and wanted to emulate her. Yet she never wanted the focus to be on her. Nothing was more important than the present moment in which she could be helping the needy. She had no time for the praises of this world. She points the way to God through her actions, the same as Jesus did.
There is something in her story that we can all gain insight from. The part of the story that jumped out for me was when she told a reporter she was an instrument to God the same as his pencil was to his writing. It made me think of the different talents we each have and how we can use them for the betterment of the world. She once said, “not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” As a writer, I take to heart her example of the pencil as my instrument, but it is my hand that moves it, my thoughts that create it, and the spirit of God who inspires what I write. The trick is in not letting my own thoughts get in the way. As Mother Teresa encouraged everyone, she’d simple say with clasped hands and smile on her face, “pray, pray, pray.”
There is no one who is blessed more then another. We are all blessed the same. The secret in the blessing is in its recognition. There is pain and hurt in life and it can be so all-consuming that we can’t see through the darkness it creates. The blessings are still there waiting to be seen. So much of our life is wasted away trying to understand what we can’t see in the darkness. The light can only come when we learn to let go. The light of clarity can then shine through revealing all the blessing that’ve been awaiting to be recognized.
“Every day in every way, I am a better person.” That’s what my Dad use to tell me to say daily.
We are so inundated with the idea of unworthiness that we’ve forgotten how wonderfully made we are in God’s image. How can we ever know the God within without seeing our own goodness? It is that goodness after all that is a reflection of Him. It is the unworthiness that overshadows all the many things that make us a better person. So every day in every way remind yourself by saying, “I am a better person,” and believe it because God made me so.
“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.”-Marianne Williamson
This was the quote of my day. I couldn’t have asked for more encouraging words to move forward with. Yes indeed there are more right things in my life to focus on and be grateful for. However, it’s the few big things that weigh us down that cause us to forget something as simple as waking-up…seeing the gift of another day. Setting my mind on the better good opens my consciousness up that I’m able to see these kind of messages from God that help to keep me on track.
We get these wake up calls that throw us for a loop once in a while. I’ve had this terrible sinus infection for weeks. I haven’t been sleeping good either, lots of coughing and chest pain as well as congestion. I’m on my second round of antibiotics, and my doctor sent me for all kinds of test. The good news is that everything checked is in proper working condition. Yeah!😆
However, I just happen to have my yearly mammogram scheduled at the same time. While I’m sitting last night relieved to know all my other test came back normal. I get a call from the breast center that they see something, and they want me to come in right away for more mamo pictures and an sonogram So I went in today, they see two tiny spots, but want to wait 6 months to have another sonogram done. Now my youngest sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She goes in for surgery next week. So as hard as I work at keeping a positive mind, it was hard to fight how close this comes to home for me, plus my Mom died from breast cancer.
Driving home I can’t help but feel like I’ve been giving another wake up call that makes me re-evaluate my life. I’m feeling grateful that it wasn’t as serious as it could have been. While the thought of those tiny spots still being there sits deep in the back of my mind. I will not let it rob me of the next 6 months worrying about what hasn’t happened yet and may never happen. I have too much to do and I’m grateful for the things that continue to make me feel alive. 🙏
I think it’s hard enough at times to figure out what I’m doing in my own life, let alone trying to figure out why someone else does what they do. Who am I to say what’s right for someone else. What others do may touch me in some way, but the only problem I should be thinking about is how I’m willing to let it affect me. I love people.I believe in everyone even those that most people give up on. However having said that I admit I’ve done my share of judging too. As much as some people get on my nerves I’m sure there’s a few things that I do to get on theirs. The deeper my faith takes me, the more burdened my heart is when I’m unkind in my words and actions toward others. I don’t like how it makes me feel about myself. Holding onto grudges, seeing the worst in others, and interfering, how is that in anyway productive or life giving? So as for me myself, I want to be the best I can be, and in the end I’m the only one I can do anything about anyway, and that’s a big enough job in itself.