Today I feel a bit melancholy as I remember it is the anniversary of the death of someone I loved very much. I miss her kind, loving, and self giving heart everyday. It seems as time goes by and you accumulate many more loses along the way, one reminder brings all of them into view.
I think about how much I miss each one of them for different reasons of course, but I still feel their presence, and hear what they would have said about this or that. But I also have regrets of things I didn’t say, things I wish I asked about, and I wonder most if they knew how much I loved them.
I wish I could have realized sooner how important it was to say the things to them that I so easily find the words for now that they’re gone. I wish I would have gotten to know more about who they were. What their dreams, passions and goals were. What their childhood was like, what they thought about their parents, who their best friends were. I don’t know maybe it’s just because I am so involved with our family history that these things seem all the more important to me. One thing I do know for sure is that death is permanent. There are no second chances. What we don’t know and haven’t experienced is hard to understand until it happens to us. Unfortunately by then it’s too late to do anything about it. So if you love someone with all your heart soul and mind, show it in all you do and say, don’t assume that they know what’s in your heart.