I look for inspiration in all I see…nature is like a free library, full of resources. As we travel through the mountain passes of Pennsylvania headed home I look for the beauty in the death of winter. Trees are bare as bones, but as I look deeper between the branches there tucked snuggle within the bareness are patches of evergreen trees standing tall full green and fluffy. A sign that life can still be seen in the mist of death, something you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking for it.My husband draws my attention to the softness of the tree line that sits upon the slopping mountain tops. It looks like a head of hair like one of those perfectly trimmed military hair cuts. Our grandsons wear their hair like that. It’s stiff as it stands up straight and feels prickly, but when I sweep my hand across their head its very soft. And there it is God showing me the inspiration that can only come through the choice I use to see things with. I can see the harshness within the death of winter or watch as Gods hand sweeps across the trees of the mountain.
Today I celebrate 45 years of marriage to my best friend. Saying we are soul mates is often a cliché people use to express their connection, but it is the best expression I have yet to find. What does it mean to be ones soul mate? I would have to say it’s meaning is as different as the the individuals who experience it. Notice I use the term individual as I talk about a connection that brings us into oneness. Being soul mates to me represents a duplication of Gods love for us and what that Oneness with Him looks like in physical manifestation.
Celine Deon sings the song “Falling into You” I thing the lyrics are a beautiful example of falling in love. The first line or too she sings, “and in your eyes I see ribbons of color, I see us inside each other.” The eyes are said to be the windows to our soul. Another one of Gods beautiful gifts of insight to that which can only be scene when we look beneath the vail of everyday ordinary things.
Feeling blessed beyond words today, as I jibber jabber on. We were two crazy in love kids, and even though we have changed with age over the years, in our eyes we are still the same two crazy in love kids today.
“From Muddied Waters to Clarity”
When our thoughts become stirred like muddy water, there can be no clarity in our mind. When we allow the mud to settle in the stillness, the water of our thoughts become clear.
I’ve been busy working on my memoir. When the new year came I made a commitment to myself that this would be the year I’d finally finish my story. I’m not getting any younger and there’s this overwhelming feeling that I have to hurry. Oy Vey! At the end of the day I feel like I’ve been trudging through water stirring up a lot of mud along the way, clouding my clarity and sense of direction. I’m motivated, excited and eager to move on, but I need some time out to let my muddy thoughts settle to that I can find clarity once again.
So I’m taken a break. I’ve gotten out of the house, and away from my office. As I write this I am sitting in a room with a view overlooking the Niagara Falls right outside my window. It is stillness in motion, and yet with the power and force of the the overflowing water you don’t see mud only the beauty of its magnificence. Isn’t it ironic that my treading through muddy water should bring me to this place of awakening where the real power flows from the Great Lakes of running together as one, and overflowing into a majestic collection of power and beauty for all to see. My peaceful journey into stillness has brought the clarity I needed into view. I know now that if I find myself creating to many muddy thoughts that I need to step back until my thoughts are able to come together and overflow into one even motion moving in the same direction and purpose.
Why do we want to recreate what God has already created perfect? Why do we want to be who we’re not, and put so much energy into being who we can’t be? Is it the mirror that tells us who we are? How do we understand anything other then what we see with our eyes? What a limited life of wasteful struggles we create for ourselves. All the while missing the truest essences of who we are. The beauty that lies beneath the layers of skin, muscles and bones. What is this body without the soul, but an empty shell lying on the beach.
I’ve been learning about mindful eating. It’s about taking your time with each mouthful using your senses as you see, smell, feel and taste your food. So I listen to the instructor as she walks me through the process. She has a dark chocolate kiss, and I have a fresh gala Apple. I’m thinking I’d rather have her piece of chocolate, but my Apple will have to do. The first thing she ask you to do is look at what you’re about to eat. So I turn it around in my hands inspecting ever part of it. My apple is quite beautiful with its variegated shades of reds, pinks and light greens looking like painted brush strokes. Tiny specks cover its flesh reminding me of my own freckles. I never saw that before. Next I am to smell it. I don’t get the smell of the apple just a fresh outdoorsy smell. A deep crackle sound pops as I bit into it, and all the fragrance trapped within its tight skin burst forth. Oh my God the taste, smell and feel of the Apple are all at once playing inside my mouth as the flavor squirts and rolls around on my tongue.
Wow! As we said in the 60’s, “what a trip that was.” Who knew eating an Apple could be such an adventure.
“So being a mindful eater,” the instructor says, “means You have to turn the TV off, and pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth.”
Hum! Let me weigh this one out. Watching the news over or watching my food. That’s a no brainier for me, watching my food sounds like more fun.
Michelangelo said, “I saw the angel in the marble, and carved until I set him free.”
In the circumstances of my childhood I had no control in which way the hand moved. When I become an adult the carving knife was placed in my own hands. I’d been chipped and carved into a mishmash paddy-wackily way. What could I make of what I’d become up to this point. With blinders on I tried it my way. I was able to smooth away some of the rough edges, but picked up many splinters along the way. Eventually I could hold the knife no more from the pain, and so I let it go.
It was in the letting go, that I placed the knife back in my Creators hands.
It was in the letting go, that I could heal.
It was in the letting go that He gave it back…only then He placed His hand upon mine and we began to work as One.
It was in letting go that my true self came into view.
It was in letting go that I was set free.
It was in letting go that I came to understand that the marble and carver had always been One.
“To be or not to,” that is the question I ask myself when I think about how I am looking at the people or situations in my life.
I work at being optimistic, rather than pessimistic. To some that might look like I’m in denial, but I don’t see it that way. I feel like it gives me a wider scope to look through. Seeing the bigger picture allows me to make an informed, and thoughtful decisions. Being pessimistic limits our outlook on life, and confines us to stay within its walls. They are at opposite ends like light, and darkness. The one we put our energy into will determine the kind of life we create for ourselves.
An optimist is one who can taste the sour bitterness of a lemon, and see its possibilities. All it takes is a bit of sweetness and kindness to turn lemons into lemonade.
Optimism gives me the ability to see hope where others see none. It allows me to believe in those whom others have given up on.
I love having the understanding that the choice is mine.
I can choose this or that,
“to be or not to be.”
It’s not up to anyone one else but me.
Be it optimism or pessimism the one thing I know;
the outcome determines which way my life flows.
There’s a veil that cover’s the depth of beauty in the world that can only be seen in the moments we choose to lift it.
I take my eyes away from the TV on a dark and rainy night. It’s in that moment that the light from the church across the street reflects against the raindrops plastered across my window. As I peek beyond the veil, I see a light show of beautiful rainbow colors twinkling against the dark backdrop. I see the light within the darkness. The joy on the other side of sadness, and the hope that comes with a new day. It reminds me of the many treasures I hold in my mind. For I’ve seen how the Sun shines upon the ocean’s surface where fairies do their twinkling dance. I’ve seen the icicles on a winter’s day sparkling like tiny stars upon the trees. And here I am after the clouds have cleared away, I’ve awoken to the light of a bright sunny day. And as if this isn’t enough I walk into my living room where a meteor shower of crimson lights bounces off the walls. They remind me of the seeds of Gods soul shinning in their glory as an expression of Him. And I’m blessed to see the face of God beyond the veil, simple because I chose to stop…and lift it.
“The only real gratitude is that which is felt from the gift of spiritual discernment. All else is but thankfulness for things.” Joel Goldsmith
As I think about this quote my thoughts turn into words, and those words into sentences, and as they search for a way out of my head, my fingers start to jump across the keys of my computer, and a post is born.
My search for words of gratitude becomes annoying platitudes of empty words that hold no meaning. It is not in the search that the gifts are found, but in the desire that creates an attitude that takes me to a level of latitude where the gift of spiritual discernment is in view.I am grateful for the “things” of this world that give me physical comforts like my home, the clothes on my back, and the food I am able to buy. But the discerning spirit within shows me the gifts I’m grateful for that are not things of this world, but gifts that are everlasting.
I am grateful to have known what true love is.
I am grateful to have discovered that God loves me just the way I am.
I am grateful that my eyes have been opened to that which is more than the human eyes can see.
I am grateful to have had this opportunity to experience life as the gift that it is.
I am grateful for the hope, faith and love that has pulled me through the difficult times because they gave me even more insight.
I am most grateful for the understanding that my existence is not simple about being in this human body. It has always been about discovering who I really am, and that God is not separate from me, but as much a part of me as I am of Him.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother, then I awaken to a new day, and I’m blessed with the gift of life. It’s a new chance, a new beginning, a clean slate. I’ve been handed a blank canvas, and paints of many colors, but one holds the shadows of blackness. I can choose this or that, but I have to take my eyes off the darkness long enough to get a glimpse of the colors. It isn’t in the design or strokes we make. It’s in the many colors we choose that we see the worthiness of the gift we’ve been given. How I choose to live my day will determine if I kneel at my bedside and give thanks for my new awakening or simple pull the covers over my head as if I’d never gotten up.
It’s all in the choose.