Everyday is a new adventure full of fun and challenging things to learn. Here I am learning that sometimes the things we want the most can roll beyond our reach. That no matter how hard we try there are some things in life that can’t be done without a little help from our friends. It’s even better when we’re having fun working together. On the other hand I also learned that if I kept pushing my ball under the couch with my nose I could get my Tom to keep playing this fun game with me. But then the next lesson came when I pushed it one too many times. Then it was no longer a matter of not being able to reach it, but then having my ball taking away from me for a time out. That’s when I look at my Tom with my sad eyes that say, “ah…you’re no fun! Dog gone it!”
Everyone has an opinion of what being in the later years of our life should be. That’s perfectly okay and normal because we each see and experience things from our own perspective. What goes into our perspective is a whirlwind of emotional, physical, psychological, social and spiritual experiences, and let’s not forget the learned behavior we’ve brought with us. The bottom-line is that we don’t know any more about this last stage of life then we did the other stages we went through. However, after many past stages of life I’ve learned that by embracing each one along the way I’ve been able to experience life from a different more deeper perspective than the one before. As I attempt to embrace the senior years of my life, I find myself looking back a lot. Not so much in a longing of wanting to go back, but more of how far I’ve come. These are the years that give birth to all the wisdom I now hold within, and as I discover this, there is a sense of satisfaction in how far I’ve come, what I’ve learned, the places I’ve been and the things I’ve seen. As long as I have a clear enough mind I’ll always feel like I can do most things. It is in the trying that I learn my limitations. It is true that growing older is not for wimps. A lot of time and energy is used to get ourselves moving and being a part of life. I’m learning to embrace the limitations as they present themselves, and I work hard at not giving into the gravity that pulls me back into the sitting position where my body would be perfectly happy to park itself.
So, if I talk about being older at times, it’s because I am. If I talk about running out of time, don’t chastise me. Just bring me back to where I am right now. If you think I’m obsessing over it, don’t tell me how to think, but help me to embrace it. And if I can’t hear or understand you, don’t brush me off and say never mind. Give me a chance to hear what you have to say.
In closing I share my opinion of the later years of my life. I am a senior and that’s okay. I am getting older, but I’m not old in the sense of giving up. I’m not afraid to be where I am or say where I’m at in this stage of my life. I’m a senior and that’s okay with me.
At the end of the mini series “Genius,” Einstein is dying, and as his long time secretary looks at him with sadness, he takes a flower from an arrangement and holding it in his hand says, “Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.”
I looked at Tom with a childlike excitement, and said, “I learned that all by myself!”
Just a few simple lines, and yet they hold within them a great awakening, opening up a whole new world for us. You don’t even have to be a genius to discover it yoursełf. It reminds me of when my father-in-law had his cataract surgery. He said he could see things with such clarity and crispness, and the colors were so vivid. When our own blinders are stripped away we can also say, ” I can see clearly now.”
I think as we journey through life we come to the end of each path wondering how am I going to get from here to there? Sometimes the next journey requires us to walk through valleys or up steep mountains, maybe even across paths of hot coals, or over wobbly bridges, and what about the ones that are paved in stones across the sky. Will, freedom, choice, trust and faith come into play surrounding me, and ego steps into view with its limited human perspective announcing that there is no way on earth to get from here to there. All the while the spirit within waits and watches patiently until will, freedom, choice, trust and faith can finally see past ego and into the depth of their purpose.
We walk through a period of our life being host of our soul. Showing it all there is to be seen through our eyes, senses and emotions much like a tour guide on a trip. But eventually the spirit within the soul becomes bored and tired of seeing the same thing as we circle round the Ring of Kerry over and again. We are at the point of our crossroad and it’s time for the ego to get out of the drivers set and let the spirit take the wheel. The spirit doesn’t’ need the maps or GPS to get us to the next path in life. It tells us now to sit back and enjoy the ride, choice is our ticket, trust is all we can take, will is what pushes us on the bus, and faith is what gives us the courage to take the first step, freedom is the weightlessness we feel as we let go of all the things that hold us back from moving on. As we travel once again around the Ring of Kerry on our way to the next destination we see as if for the first time because now it’s through the eyes of God.
I ran across the word gestating in an article I was reading. I never heard it being used in relation to the mind so I was prompted to look it up. Gestate means to carry in the uterus during pregnancy. Ok I thought, that’s where I’d heard it before. However, it also means to conceive and gradually develop in the mind. Wow! I thought. What a great analogy to use in reference to the conception and development of both body and mind. The food we ingest during pregnancy contributes to the unborn child’s physical development. In the same way, our thoughts feed our mind slowly, one thought building upon another. Eventually they both become too big to contain, and the need to come forth and express what they’ve become burst into being. Just as a new life is created so to do our thoughts create, and just as new life affects the world it comes into, so do our thoughts affect the world. So just as we wouldn’t feed the unborn child the kind of food that could harm it. We should be mindful of the thoughts we feed into our mind. In both cases what we feed our body and mind plays an important part in how we choose to live our life.
So, what’s gestating in your mind?
Is it a bird! It’s a plane! No…it’s Lucy!
As I said in my last post entrée the thing I love most about my new family is making them happy. I’m learning that sometimes I can do things on purpose to make them laugh, and sometimes I make them laugh just by being me. Like this morning when I took a leap off the deck. I got a good run going around the deck first picking up speed then jumped, flying a few feet in the air. Now you have to I envision it in slow motion to appreciate the moment of my experience. Once I jumped I felt light as a feather, my hair blew back out of my eyes and I could see clearly certain things I couldn’t when I’m grounded. I mean just because I have all four paws on the ground doesn’t mean I can see and experience all there is in this new world I live in. I’m learning that there’s much more to see and feel than what meets the eyes alone. Things like humans laughing. I wonder where does it come from inside them? It’s catching and has a way of touching me inside that makes me happy and playful. I can’t burst out laughing like my people but I can express how it makes me feel inside with my actions.
Look how much fun I have with my Tom making both my Connie and him laugh.
Till next time,
For the 3rd time I’m pulling out these entangled vines in my garden. Every time I think I have all the thick twisted vines pulled, a week or so later they find their way back to the top of the soil. As I stand looking at their fresh green heads poking through the soil I can almost hear them laughing at me, as they say in their wee taunting voice, “we’re back!” I dig deeper with more determination to get to the source of each plant. Hum! I think to myself. There’s something awful familiar about what’s happening here besides the mere fact that I’m pulling these vines out again.
“Okay God, what are you trying to show here?” I say to myself
I’ve been doing the same thing in my own life pulling out the stuff I don’t want anymore, pulling out what isn’t good for me, and pulling out what no longer has a purpose. I do feel much lighter in many ways, but the vines from all that stuff is deeply rooted and intertwined so even when I think I’ve pulled it all, it finds a way back into my life, temping me and trying to sabotage all my efforts. Pulling out the entangled vines feels as if it has a hold of me. It doesn’t want to let go of it.
“What am doing wrong God?”
“It isn’t the vine that has a hold on you. It’s you who won’t let go of the vine.”
Woo! I didn’t see that one coming!
To be mindful one must quiet the mind long enough to see what’s in front of them. I was told recently that I think too much. I’ve been told that before. So, in the process of trying not to think too much I turn to my thoughts for ideas on how to not think so much. Ha-ha! I know, right about now you’re probable wondering what the heck has Connie’s been smoking. It’s true! I do think a lot, but it’s who I am and to be honest I “think” it’s the one thing I like most about myself. I have a curious mind, and I think deeply about things if you haven’t guessed that already. But the mind needs to be tamed, same as everything else in our life. We have to find a balance. In order for me to do that I first have to find a way to quiet all the chatter going on inside my head. Meditation doesn’t come easy for one who thinks too much, but it’s the very thing I need to clear the pathway of my many thoughts. So, I’m sitting on my deck enjoying this bright sunny day and my eyes are drawn to the blue skies. White puffy clouds drift slowly, reminding me of the gentle peaceful flow of life I long to be in. I watch, focusing my attention only on the movement of the clouds letting my thoughts drift past them as they come. As I watch the clouds it’s as if I begin to move right along with them only in the movement there is stillness. Between the moments of stillness comes change as the cloud becomes a dolphin that turns into a shark. Then a dragon spewing fire from its mouth, that becomes an elephant, and an angel with a trumpet. As the cloud begins to disperse it looks like a scruffy dog, and I chuckle at the words to a song that comes to mind, “Lucy in the sky with diamonds,” it’s my Lucy dog.
Being the deep thinker I am I can’t help but wonder what the significance of these characters might mean. So, for the fun of it I look up the symbolisms for each. There are all kinds of meanings and explanations for just about anything you picture or envision. Who knew? I didn’t! So, I wrote down what resonated with me. I was amazed at how it all came together. Pretty cool!
Dolphin-is an emblem of living our true purpose in the creative since, and using it to contribute to the better good of all. The Dolphin reminds us to enjoy the moment for this moment will never pass this way again, every moment is precious. (Wow!)
Shark-when a shark enters your life it portends a time of fearlessly facing those things or people who hold you back. (Hum!)
Fire dragon-teaches you to roar finding your voice, being heard and truly understood. (Yes!)
Elephant– when an elephant comes to you the message is typically one of connectedness. (For me it reaffirms the connectedness of my oneness with God.)
Angel-Seeing angels in the clouds indicates that spiritual insights and guidance are in the offing. Pay extra attention to your intuition and insights. (Great confirmation)
Dog-a dog in the clouds suggests the company of loyal friends and faithful companions. (Which I love!)
I guess since I’ve come into my new family’s life I’ve turned it upside down a bit. I don’t know why because to me everything seems as it should be. I’m 6 months old which makes me about 3 1/2 in people years now. I’m easily distracted especially when I go out to pee. If I see a bird, bunny or bee I forget what I came out to do, and want to play with all Gods creations. I love being outside in the world walking bare paw on the grass, I don’t care if they get muddy or wet. I love digging in the dirt smelling all the scents, hearing all the sounds even taste-testing different things like those lip-smacking rabbit turds, yum!
I think I’m good for my people. I keep them hoping up and down as they have to take me out several times to pee. It makes them walk in their bare feet too as they don’t always have time to put their shoes on. It also gives them a timeout from what they were doing. I look up at my Connie and see something as she breaths in the fresh, is it happy, peaceful, contentment? I don’t know a lot about these things yet, it just looks like she’s feeling and sensing the same things I am, and everything seems as it should be.
Then there’s the leader of our pack, Tom. He’s like the lion in our tribe. When he roars, he expects me to listen. I just love teasing him. When he points his finger at me with a roar to stop, I jump up and nibble at his finger. He roars some more, and I jump back and forth yapping at him. He says, “don’t you talk back at me!” and I ruff, ruff, ruff right back again. The whole time my Connie is laughing at us both. My Tom tries to keep that stern look on his face, but I know if I keep it up I can melt that look right into a smile even a chuckle or two. He loves me, I know it. Sometimes I don’t know who I love more…my Connie or Tom…maybe I just love them both for who they are. What I do know for sure is that I like making them happy and I think I’m doing a pretty good job at it even if it is in upside kind of way.
Until next time,
As I’ve been working on letting go it’s opened a whole new space for fun things in my life. So I had this idea to paint my clay pots. As I sat down to do each one I had no plan of how I was going to do them. Letting go of control seems to be the main source that gets in the way of what I really want, and that is to simple “be.” Listening to my inner voice, trusting in the process feels difficult when I keep getting in the way. I want to do everything perfect, but I can’t, it simple sets me up for failure.As I began my pots I went with the creative flow inside me. There was no rhyme or reason to what I was doing I just expressed. They are as imperfect as they come, but what I learned was to see the beauty that lies behind the imperfection. There are no two pots alike, and no matter how hard someone would try to duplicate what I did there is only one of a kind. Maybe that’s the way God went about creating each one of us, He just went with the creative flow and not one of us is alike either. That makes us about as special as each of my pots.